skips in the record

Records. Record players. Remember those?
Did your record player ever skip?
Earlier this summer, our blog was running pretty smoothly, but somewhere along the way there have been a few skips in our record (modern readers, read: scratches in our CD?).
Just to make you aware, if our blog skips from time to time, and I'm not here as regularly, I have been needed more by my family. They are my divine priority, so that's where I am!
We will post as able.

shopping with Jack

Shopaholics warning: material may make you cry with discomfort!

Because we live so far from "suburbia", shopping isn't a thing we do for fun... it's something we just do.

Driving down to the Valley (think: Target, WalMart, Costco) takes 1 1/2 hours. One way. Between Nap and Bed is squeezed Driving and Shopping.

Putting words like "Squeezed" and "Shopping" together may drive some of you madly uncomfortable.

Kinda like wearing shoes or pants that are too tight.

When we shop, we follow "The List".

Now some of you are really squirming... relax. Jack's about to learn the word "Browse".

With Catherine's birthday approaching, Erik and I agreed that I would dash away to shop at Target and Michael's with the boys while he followed "The List" and hit Costco with the girls.

Here are some of the conversations Jack and I had on our shopping spree:

Scene:
strolling up and down the aisles, trying to find some sweet, thoughtful things for Catherine's day


Heard:
Jack: Mom, we are LOST.
Mama: No, Jack, we are browsing.

Heard:
Mama: Jack, what do you think Catherine would enjoy for her birthday?
Jack: RACE-TARS! (racecars)
Mama: Jack, would you like race cars for your birthday?
Jack: yes!
Mama: Let's think about what Catherine would like for HER birthday.
Jack (pauses, thinking): MOTORCYCLES!

Heard:
Jack: Is that for me?
Mama: No, this is for Catherine's birthday.
Jack: Is THAT for me?
Mama: No, this is for Catherine's birthday.
Jack: I don't WANT Taf-frin's birf-day. I want MY birf-day!

Heard:
Jack: Maybe we get Taf-frin some princesses for her birf-day.

siesta

summer activities for preschoolers #6

(the sixth in a weekly series of ideas for families with preschoolers...please feel free to share your own by clicking "comments" below!)

When I was growing up, my mom always added a pinch of salt to oatmeal to "bring out the flavor" of that otherwise good and hearty breakfast. 

Adding to the goodness and heartiness of summer, our family adds a "pinch of salt" to our day to bring out the flavor of that already delicious season. 

Imagine a summer morning of play in sun, sand, and a refreshing mountain-fed lake. Kids and Mama are both invigorated by the cool water and relaxed by the warm sun. A satisfying lunch is followed by a (here's the pinch of salt) SIESTA, to quietly rest before the afternoon festivities resume. 

We ALL take a daily siesta after lunch. This mid-day rest truly enhances our experience of the day. The days - as full and fun as they are - can be long... filled with activity and interaction. Having a little siesta is a great solution for us. Socializing, interacting, exploring, and adventuring surrounding the siesta seem enhanced by the break.

How does it work out practically for us right now? 

Because the effects of our siesta are so significant and vital at this season in our family's life, I make no apology for protecting it from interruption. With few exceptions, from 12-2 I turn off the phone's ringer and post this sign on our door. 

Jude (almost a year) and Jack (coming on 3) continue their daily naps at this time, but the girls (nearly 4 and 5) aren't taking regular naps. 

For the girls, ideally, their siesta involves choosing some books, coloring book/markers, blocks and toy cars, or other activity they choose to enjoy QUIETLY and ALONE in separate rooms for an hour or so. It is an expected time of uninterrupted solace. Their minds and bodies rest. 

I look forward to a siesta, too, but resting doesn't come easily for mothers when the list of things to do keeps growing. This hour is prime time to get stuff done! But because my children are deeply affected by me at this stage in their lives, I have to purposefully disengage from thousands of other things that I can do to simply rest and recharge. It helps keeping in mind that I'm a better mama for my children when I'm rested. 

So for me lately, I do a quick tidy of the house in preparation for the afternoon before I relax. Then, I may be found lying on the couch, resting my eyes while listening to instrumental hymns by Fernando Ortega and the like on the internet's Pandora. Or I may be refreshed by catching up on emails or blogging. 

You could really call #6 in this series a "summer UN-activity". The idea of our siesta is to disengage in such a way that mother and child are relaxed and recharged in the middle of a lovely summer's day.

guest post: Suzan

Up today is a testimony shared by Suzan. I have known this fun lady since I was fourteen and she has faithfully prayed for me and my family! Since Erik and I got married and had our children, she has become Aunt Suzan to all of us. 

 Fear is a debilitating emotion.  When it grips you you become paralyzed in body, soul and spirit.

       I know...fear entered my life with a vengeance and became my constant companion for over two years.  I have never felt so desperate, so out of control, alone.       My life as I knew it had come tumbling down.  What was happening. I was a strong Christian.  I loved the Lord with all my heart.  Something was very wrong.       My dear husband of over forty years stood by me not knowing what to do.  Our children wanted to help but how!  My friends, the few I had confided in cared deeply, prayed fervently, called regularly.  One dear, dear friend called me every day for over two years.  She never gave up on me when I had nearly given up on myself.       Depression is a horrific thing,  I never understood it before.  I had had relatives who had been plagued by it and I didn't know why.       I couldn't read the Bible, or pray except to cry out to God to please help me.  Such confusion overpowered me which, of course, caused me to become more fearful and anxious.       I became physically weak, losing a lot of weight.  During this time, God led me to a doctor I had seen a number of years earlier at the Naval Hospital.  She was in the OB/GYN department.  She was now in private practice.  I contacted her and she began seeing me on a weekly basis for two years.  I called her God's Psychiatrist.  She was a strong Christian, full of wisdom.  She cared deeply for me and what was going on in my life.       I remember a friend telling me at one of my lowest moments that some day God would use all that was happening in my life for His glory...I nearly hung up on her.       But, now, two years after God healed me I can see how God is using it to help others.You see, with all the fear I couldn't trust God.  I wanted to.  I knew He was there somewhere but where.  The Bible speaks of "the dark night of the soul".  I was in that place and didn't know if I would ever come out of it.  Corrie Ten Boon once said, "never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God".  God was in the process of breaking me...not to leave me shattered in a million pieces but to remake me into the woman of God He wanted me to be---totally dependent upon Him.       One morning a song came to mind from years past and I started singing it..."I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.  I can see all obstacles in my way.  Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind, it's goona be a bright, bright sunshiny day.  I think I can make it now, the pain is gone.  All of the bad feelings have disappeared.  Here is the rainbow I've been praying for.  It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day.       I can honestly say today that my faith is stronger than it ever was.  Through the brokenness has come personal revival in my life.  I am a different person and all I can continually say is to God be the glory, great things He has done.   

wrong

Lately, there have been a lot of 

"I was wrong.

I dishonored you. I spoke harshly to you.

Will you forgive me?" 

spoken at our house.

No, it's not the kids apologizing to each other. Or to their parents. 

Sometimes it's Mama... sometimes it's daddy... asking our kids' forgiveness. 

Why would a 30+ year old mother and father ask a 4, 3, and 2 year old to forgive us? Isn't that kind of... humbling?

What's humbling is from the beginning God made us. Erik, Sarah, Catherine, Camille, Jack, and Jude.

The only distinction between us and our children is that they happen to be little. So little, in fact, that God entrusted them to us - to care for, love, teach, train, to walk with. He gave Erik and me a role to play in these little people's lives. But that role is temporary.

We are eternal. If the average human lifespan is 80 years, and Erik and I had children in our thirties, 

that's 50 years that we'll relate to Catherine, Camille, Jack and Jude as parent/child. 50 years is a drop in the bucket compared to eternity, where we hope to relate to them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

God made Catherine, Camille, Jack and Jude. We want to honor them.

This doesn't mean that we give them everything they want. Part of honoring God and honoring our children in our job as "parents" is having the responsibility and the courage to correct,  discipline, and protect. To say no. To teach them to live under authority.

Even though we are parents, Erik and I relate with our children. We too are under authority. Parenting isn't a position of pride or superiority. It's not an ego trip; I'm not right just because I'm bigger and older! With God, there are no double standards. We are only in authority because God has given us the role to lovingly care for and guide these little ones until they are able to hear His voice and be under His authority.

When we see our children as people who are eternal and our role as parent is temporal, this changes how we relate to my children. How we communicate with them. How we treat them. How we value them. How we respond when we wrong them.

I don't always honor my children. I speak harshly. My judgment isn't fair. I will disappoint them. Dishonor them. Sometimes I treat guests in our home with more dignity than my children. I will fail my children.

This is where we both need Jesus.

God will never fail our children. His love won't change. His judgment isn't skewed. He is the one we can point our kids to. The sooner our children are able to transfer their trust and dependence on Jesus - the good Shepherd - the better!

As for us, flawed humans and parents, we need Jesus, too. Jesus has shed His own blood on the cross to forgive me for dishonoring God and my children. I need His forgiveness. He not only died for my sin, but He also shares His life with me, that I might choose Him when I'm frustrated or annoyed. That my children might experience His life and love in me, and not my own human responses.

When we fail, we need to ask forgiveness. Especially of our children. Additionally, it's a great opportunity for us to model to our children how to be reconciled with God and others.

Children are so forgiving - often I've had their little arms wrap around my neck in kind forgiveness. Being welcomed into the arms of your child or spouse or the Lord is joyful, sweet, humbling restoration.

marathon

In my "intelligent" years as student at university, I decided it would be fun- yes, fun- to run a marathon together with some of my pals.

We had a professor who also found it "fun" to run marathons, too, and offered to train us.

What do I remember about training for a marathon? I remember finally liking coffee, irresistibly presented to me by my friend Natalie before an early morning distance training run. I remember sweating with my uni friends. I remember a nasty blister on the bottom of my right foot. But significantly, I remember Dr. Higgins, our professor. Our trainer.

His training technique has never left me. For Dr. Higgins, training wasn't simply observing us from a distance, and yelling out instructions to us. For him, training was putting on his running shoes, and with a eager smile and infectious enthusiam, observing us along the way, and showing us ways of improving.

I'll never forget that Dr. Higgins didn't train us from a distance; Dr. Higgins ran every step of the way with us. 

Eventually, we ran the whole thing. 26.2 miles.
And then we college girls intelligently ran another one... for fun.

Now that I'm a mom, I'm not running marathons anymore. My knees have declared civil war on any ambitions like that.

But I still think about Dr. Higgins. Regularly. Because now, as a mom, I'm a trainer, too.

Everyday, I'm training Catherine, Camille, Jack, and Jude for the steps that they are going to take in the days ahead.

Honesty.
Integrity.
Responsibility.
Respect.
Communication.
Perseverance.
Dependence on Jesus.

I can train them from a distance, or I can get right into their lives and run every step of the way with them.

I remember when Catherine, our eldest, was 18 months old. She loved to toddle over to our front door where the basket of winter hats, mitts, and scarves were kept. These things she put on. And took off. And put on. And took off. Until the basket was empty and these things were all over the floor.

I said, "Catherine, I don't mind if you play with those, but you need to put them back in the basket when you're done."

Time passed. Hats, mitts, and gloves still lay like colorful snow on our floor. Catherine was elsewhere.

I found her, walked her back to the empty basket, and rephrased my words. Then I showed her exactly what I meant. Then we did it together. Then I left a few at the end for her to do on her own.

We looked at the clean floor and celebrated.

Catherine wasn't the only one with a lesson to learn that day. Through this situation, I remembered Dr. Higgins. He subjected himself to our training. He entered in to our discipline.

I thought about how parenting can be distant: from-the-comfy-couch-remote-control-parenting. In the story I shared, I could speak out orders which Catherine may or may not understand how to implement. Both parties are likely to get upset with lack of understanding.

Or it can be it can be involved, integrated, let-me-run-with-you parenting. I could get in there and train with Catherine until she was conditioned to know the standard and uphold it on her own. (She's great at this now.)

Training, or discipline, cost our prof as much as it did us. Higgins had to put on his running shoes and run - every step we ran.  As we train/discipline our children, it costs us as parents. We have to get off the couch. We have to stop what we're doing. To talk to our kids. To explain. To demonstrate. To work together. To give opportunity for our kids to practice.

There's a verse in the Bible about training, or discipline (the Greek word is sophronismos, which is a blend of sos "safe" and phren "the mind" = "a calling to soundness of mind"):

All discipline (training) for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. 

Hebrews 13:11

I initially read this verse with my children in mind, but if I consider that discipline equally involves me, then this verse takes on a new light. It is encouraging not only for them, but also for us as parents. Training my kids may be tough. Hard. Sorrowful. Sometimes there are blisters. But as I am trained by it, and my kids are trained by it, discipline will yield peaceful fruit in our home.

Lord, thank you for the privilege of training 

alongside our children as we run through life together. 

As we train our children, 
may we humbly and faithfully embrace Your training in our own lives.

yes, please

another seven years together?

and everyday after that?
yes, please!

happy seventh anniversary, mr. snyder

fairy godmother

Yesterday I shared a little of the rationale behind our family's month-long menu. Today, if it would be helpful to you, I am happy to share specifics of how our family's month-long menu works as well as a copy of our June menu at the bottom of the post. If you can use it, please feel free to "slice it and dice it" in the way that best serves you and your family!

"Recipe" for making our month-long menu plan

1. I created a page that looks like a month calendar in Microsoft Word.

2. I brainstormed dinner themes that our family likes (Eg: pasta, turkey, fish, ham, chicken, salad, beef).

3. I thought about what our week typically looks like and chose what dinner theme would work best for which night of the week. (Eg: Sunday- salad, Monday - chicken, Tuesday - fish) The rationale behind nightly dinner themes was to ensure that I wasn't serving pork three nights in a row!

4. I thought about our favorite family meals and plugged them in first to the appropriate days. (Eg: on a Sunday when the dinner theme was "salad", I would ensure that one Sunday in the month had one of our favorites: Cherry Chicken Lettuce Wraps)

5. In the gaps in the calendar left after that, I got on-line and researched what I needed. I googled "beef" or whatever. Recipes that looked tasty I'd "plug in" to the remaining gaps of the menu and then print out the recipe for future reference. This enables me to experiment with new recipes.

Notes:

I started this in January, but as the days have gotten longer and warmer and more spring and summer variety appears in the markets, I have been getting back on-line to freshen our menu to reflect the flavors of the season.

Once I got the calendar grid ready, the nightly themes designated, and the skeleton of our favorites in place, the actual updating the calendar and filling in the gaps with new recipes takes me about an hour each month.

The menu also helps me with my shopping. The menu becomes my shopping list, ensuring I have the ingredients I need. I do a local run to the grocery store each week for the fruit and veggies I need, and we go as a family into the city to do a "big shop" maybe twice a month for big ticket items. My pantry and fridge are stocked, ready for me to cook, ready for our family to eat.

If you're feeling motivated, you can also add on breakfasts, lunches and snacks to help "rise to the occasion" when it's meal time for your little loves. It may seem overkill, but for me, having something written down saves me time and time again when it's time to eat and I'm chewing my bottom lip looking for mealtime solutions.

Do I stick with the menu? It's a tool. It's there for me. It supports me with my work, but I am at the controls. Sometimes I'll swap a meal around or completely drop it that day... it depends on what we need and what works for us that day. But 90% of the time, this little menu's been my fairy godmother - transforming my daily chef from frazzled to successful.

Click here to see our June 2012 menu. 

daily bread

Let's talk about food, shall we?

So many colors, textures, flavors, combinations, and opportunities!
It's aesthetic.
It's aromatic.
It's flavorful.
And it's functional.
Food nourishes the grown up bodies and the tiny bodies in our homes. It helps them go (and grow!).

God could have packaged up our fuel in freeze-dried, flavorless form, but He made it so full of variety and gave us the pleasure of creating with it, sharing it, enjoying it, and being nourished by it! (Thank you, Lord!)

How many meaningful conversations have been had over a meal? Mealtime is an ingenious conduit of togetherness and fellowship.

Food... what a literal treat!

In our family, one of my responsibilities and privileges as a mother is to ensure my family is getting properly nourished by providing healthful meals each day.

After all, our children are growing mentally, but equally physically. In the same way I want to feed their minds with good books, thoughts, and opportunities, I also want to ensure that their calorie craving bodies and lengthening limbs are getting the proper building blocks of nutrition that they need.

As for my wonderful husband Erik, he has no expectations for me to cook amazing food, but he does appreciate a good meal at the end of his day. A good meal is a great way to encourage him!

However, I was finding that I was repeating many of the same meals, which ultimately lacked variety both nutritionally and flavorfully... Or worse, I was finding myself at five pm staring into an improperly stocked refrigerator wondering what I could make from odds and ends while hungry children waited patiently.

I felt like my days as a Mom with four little children were tremendously demanding - sometimes just going from one part of the day to the next - which left me no time to properly plan, shop, and nourish my family with a good meal at the end of the day. I was struggling with the apparent conflict of my responsibilities as a mother.

I was discouraged that such a significant, regular, and presumably delicious part of our lives was, well, BLAND.

I wished that I could not only be productive in the kitchen for the sake of our own family, but also that we could capitalize on the multiple benefits of sharing a meal with friends from our community and town.

Can you relate?

Do you feel a desire to love your family by providing a variety of nutritious meals for them, but find that your meals are "repeats" from week to week? Do you desire to make good food, but when it comes down to it, the ingredients aren't there when you need them? Do your minutes matter and you find yourself at the end of the day without enough time to think through a menu and decide on ingredients and then go shopping? I think this may be true for a few mamas reading this.

May the Lord guide you and help you with the desire to care for your family in this way.

For me, I expressed my heart to Erik, who is not only such a wonderful husband, but also friend who knows me well and cares about my concerns and wants to support me in any way he can. I feel that God often shows me things about myself through the eyes of my man, and I am so glad for this. Erik reminded me that I frequently do well - both in preparing a project and feeling satisfied at the end of it - if I've made a list.

From this concept, the month long menu was born and has been developing over the past five months.

I spend about an hour each month "refreshing" each month's menu, but the pay off is that I have a variety of meal ideas, the ingredients I need, and the joy of knowing my family is being well-fed.

One of the highlights of feeling more confident about mealtime due to our menu is that we are able to have more people into our home, especially for dinner. I am not only able to care for my family, but also welcome students, staff, and neighbors from our community into our home regularly. What a blessing this is!

Even Jesus nourished the hungry tummies with loaves and fish while teaching them of the Bread of Life. It is a privilege to serve my family in this way, and I am grateful for this tool to help me with my responsibilities at this stage in our family's life.

Lord, thank You for making us body, soul, and spirit 

and for abundantly providing everything they need to be sustained.

Sustain our families as we share Your food, 

both bread for the body and the Bread of Life for the soul. 

when our children (and their parents) hurt

Tagging back to yesterday's post, I admit that it's easy to say God works all things together for good when the loss is only Time, Expense, or a Change of Plan. But what about when things strike closer to home... and to the heart? I offer you the following scene from our lives one year ago.

It was a rainy afternoon one Monday in May, exactly one year ago yesterday, when it happened.

I was six months pregnant with Jude and had a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Only I didn't remember the doctor's appointment because I had forgotten to flip my week-at-a-time calendar page that Monday. It had been a busy weekend and getting back into Mondays with three kids three and under sometimes didn't happen for me until Tuesday (or later in the week, for that matter).

If I had flipped my calendar, I wouldn't have been taking the kids up to the Chalet for a walk. But I didn't turn the page. I didn't see my appointment. I wasn't going into town to see my OB.

Instead, Catherine, Camille, Jack, and I (with Jude tucked inside my tummy) were walking, splashing, stomping through the mud puddles on the driveway from our house to the Chalet. We were going to stop inside and play a while until Daddy finished work.

We went up to the library at the top of the Chalet, walked out on the porch, sang "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring..." while we watched the raindrops fall. We went back inside.

And then it happened. The accident. The library sliding glass door shut on Jack's two fingers, severing them. He was in my arms.

The rest is a blur of red, tears, adrenaline.

Hours later, with our little boy's fingers stitched back on, bound up in bandages, I crawled into bed beside Erik.

In the twilight hours, my mind sloshing through imagery and sequences and the gaps, I recalled my calendar. Wanting to vomit, I leapt from bed and my suspicions were confirmed. My doctor's appointment was that day. That time. If only I had turned the page...

Hot tears. Remorse. Anguish. Wanting to force back the hand of time do things differently. To protect my little boy's hand. To take his pain away, even to take it myself. Nothing, absolutely nothing can change what happened. Time has locked it away.

Sometime later, as I lay there in bed, this scene unfolds in my half-awake, half-asleep thoughts:

God says: "Aren't you glad the accident didn't happen?"
Me: "But the accident did happen!"
Reply: "No, the other accident that would have happened to you, your unborn baby, Erik, and the children if you had gone to your doctor's appointment this afternoon."


I do not know if this scenario would have happened or not, but either way I feel it was God communicating with me and reminding me that His heart for us is far, far, far beyond the dimension we see now. What I do know is that for all the unknowns in our life stories, all the mysteries, and the senseless acts, God sees the whole picture, from all angles and from eternity. And He is good.


As a parent, there's nothing I want more than to protect, defend, nurture, and support our children. I'm pretty sure if you're a parent, you feel the same.

What about

When accidents happen?

When things are beyond our control? 

When it was a mistake? 

When we forget?

What then? 

For this we have Jesus. 

Lord, in the hot tears, anguish, and remorse of parenting,  

may we find rest in You. 

May our children know You, the One who can heal their wounds.

when everything's not funny

The Rocky Mountain National Park is in our backyard. Through it runs Trail Ridge Road, which is the highest continuous motorway in the US. It is our quick and beautiful access into western Colorado, unless we travel east to the valley, and then north or south for an hour until other highways link us back up into and over the mountains.

We were excited about possibly taking Trail Ridge Road to our friend's wedding in Craig, CO this past weekend, but it was rainy at our home at 8500 ft... and snowy at Trail Ridge's top elevation of 11k+ ft. Erik called the Park to confirm, and sure enough, the road was closed due to snow.

So we went the long way around, reading, singing, talking, listening to books on CD, eating some road-trip food. It was fun.

By Saturday night, our friend was happily wedded to his bride, and our kids were happily "wetted" in our hotel's swimming pool.

Sunday morning, Erik and I decided to leave earlier than planned because the kids had a late night, Jude was still unwell, and we were pretty bagged ourselves. It would be good for everyone to get home.

We looked outside our hotel curtains to discover that Sunday was beautiful. Warm. Skies brilliantly blue. The trip home already seemed shorter.

We wondered if Trail Ridge Road was open. It would cut down our driving time significantly. And when you travel with four little kids, even an hour can make a big difference.

Not one to be irresponsible, Erik wanted to confirm that TR Road was open. He always does his due diligence to care for his family in any situation, and this was no different. Because we don't have a cell phone, Erik called the front desk of our hotel to get information on Trail Ridge Road. They checked for us and confirmed it was clear. But Erik wasn't sure of their source. He asked them to check more specifically, and again they confirmed.

So we took the more direct way. The weather and the idea of taking Trail Ridge Road home made the journey seem so much quicker. A good thing, because after three nights of bad sleep with Jude, nothing was funny any more and I needed all the help I could get.

Hours in to our trip home, we saw the peaks we had to cross. Our home was just on the other side!! And then we noticed raindrops on our windshield... and clouds above the peaks. Rain in the valley can mean snow on the pass, even in May. We stopped in Kremmling, a tiny mountain town, and asked a police man what report he had. He said even if it's open, it could close at anytime.

At this point in the trip, our options were to either get to the park and be home in under an hour, or we would have to go a super-long way around from that point. Like three more hours long around. It's like being in an alley at the back-gate to your house, finding out the gate's locked, and you have to go all the way down the alley and back up again to get into your front door. 

I wanted to get home. But my personal desire was only 1%, compared to the 99% of me as a Mom wanting to get my tired children home.

We scurried to the south entrance of the Park, only to discover that sure enough... it was closed.

My heart sunk. How to break the news to the kids, who had already been so patient and resourceful during the car ride?

We have always wanted to be honest with our kids - not to misguide them or mislead them with our words just to give them false assurance. We feel that it is crucial to be trust-worthy and honest with our children, even when the news is tough. We acknowledged the situation, encouraged them in how they had been doing, and told them the game plan for getting home.

I don't know about you, but it's hard to encourage someone when I'm discouraged. As a mom, that's what I find myself up against sometimes. How do we continue to encourage our children even when we're tired, discouraged, and have already used up all the travel tricks we had packed away? Again, I was honest with them. I asked them if they could relate. That almost seemed to band us together. Then we looked forward.

After telling stories, reading books, games, coloring, books on CD, kid's music on CD for a few hours already, we felt a lolly pop and a DVD were next up on the menu. We would stop in Denver for dinner, and then carry on home.

Erik and I talked about the trip after we got home and the kids were passed out in their beds. What do you do when things don't go as planned or as hoped for as parents? What about accidents? Mistakes? What about things beyond our control?

We feel that our responsibility is to do our due diligence to care for our family, make the best decision we can with the information we have, and leave the results to God. It's not always easy, I sure as heck wasn't laughing like I was on Friday. I don't know why we took the long road home. Maybe God was keeping us from something or giving us to someone. As believers, we can trust that God's heart is not ever to steal, kill, or destroy. He might take away, but He won't waste. He might remove, but He doesn't tease or trick us. His heart is for us. He is the gentle catcher of all that seems lost in our lives. He is the known of our unknowns. Maybe eternity will tell these secrets. In the meantime, as parents, may we all hold on to His promise -

  He works all things together for good to those who love Him 

and are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

when everything's funny

so I was up a lot last night with Jude 

- poor boy had a miserable little fever- 

and so now I'm kind of slap-happy 

(not about Jude's fever... just my lack of sleep)

one fact about me that doesn't come out too often is 

that I can get so goofy in my head when I'm tired 

that every thing's uproariously funny.

so here's a funny Friday post for ya. 

(at least it's funny to me and maybe people who get wound-up-silly when they're tired)

*

Catherine helped me wash the dishes and then drained the sink. 

She saw the water vortex in the drain and said:

(a new word covering both hurricanes and tornados?)

*

Camille put a pencil up to her eye and said:

(we've been reading a LOT of pirate stories lately)

*

Catherine saw this CD cover and said, "That looks like Granddaddy!"

(and in some crazy way... it did)

*

Finally (for your sake, people):

I was reminded of this joke today when my kids were watching a show about numbers.

What did the Zero say to the Eight?

"Nice belt."

(-joke courtesy of my brilliant scientific brother, Zach

 proving once again his ability to understand the physics of chemistry and still play with numbers, too).

* 

Happy weekend, folks.

Hope yours is full of good humor.

flowers

After Saturday's graduation (and all the socializing that week), 

our cupboards were as bare as Old Mother Hubbard's.

 Our family went down to the valley to restock on Sunday. 

We were in the Costco check-out when the clerk goes to Erik, 

"Hey, it's Mother's Day... don't you want to buy the lady some flowers?"

Erik's not one to be motivated by guilt, 

and we aren't ones who need an external reminder to celebrate each other. 

We are deeply grateful, humbled, and ecstatic to God for each day that He has given us each other. 

So, hugging my man, I looked at the clerk and pointed to my children:

"He gives me these flowers every day." 

no more mr. nice guy

Our friends, the Jacksons, gave our girls the Princess Matching Game (a lovely version of the game Memory) at Christmas. While the girls learned the principle of the game, I was nice and let them win. 

That was, until recently.

Camille and I played.

Camille smoked me in princess matching.

26 to 13. 

  No more Mr. Nice Guy, kids.

 Camille finds her favorite pair - Princess Bluebell.

 My five meager matches, neatly arranged.

Camille's booty - she won so many she just tossed them haphazardly in her pile. 

So if you ever play the Princess Matching game with Camille, please, as her mother, I'm asking you... show no pity to the wee three year old across the floor from you. She could school you. Hard.

mY mOm...

... CuTs mY haIR!

Next up on Sarah's Things to Learn list?

How to cut your little boy's hair, 
before he's old enough to notice (and care!)

what i'm learning lately...

The Bible study the kids and I go to in town finished today for the summer. Since last September, the women have been studying the books of 1 and 2 Kings, as well as the prophets who spoke during those times. I had read through that part of Scripture, but I learned a lot and was so encouraged by actually studying it and discussing it with our small group.

Because 3 out of 4 people at home call me "Mama", at the moment, much of my identity is connected to my role as a mother. As a mother, I was encouraged to see how God related to His children in these books.

Before the people had entered into the land, God's message to His children was clear: love Me and obey Me and things will go well for you. If you turn away from Me, things will not go well, ultimately ending with this: "The Lord will bring you and your king, whom you shall set over you, to a nation which neither you nor your father have known, there you shall serve other gods, wood and stone." (See Deuteronomy 28).

This reminds me as a mother to keep my thoughts and expectations clear, especially with my young children. I remember talking to Erik about this last year when Catherine was 2 and Camille was 1: "There are so many rules and things that I have to remember... how on earth can I expect Catherine and Camille to remember?" He simply replied (I LOVE this about Erik), "The only thing you have to remember and that they have to remember is that they must obey you."

Apart from the reigns of a few kings who "did right in the sight of the Lord" (Joash, Hezekiah, and Josiah), this time period was bleak, grim, and dark. King after king "did evil in the sight of the Lord... and made Israel sin." Time and time again, God's people turned away from Him, following after worthless gods. With that, their value system went down the drain; injustice and violence increased. Truly what a man sows, that he also reaps. Things didn't go well for them.

What Erik and I say to our children and expect from them isn't a power-driven show. We want them to know and do what's right because we love them. We aren't perfect, but we have been given a charge by God to teach our children His ways. We do this in a spirit of humility, as ones under authority ourselves.

God loved His people too much to dismiss or overlook their disobedience. After all, their obedience was for His glory and their good. "The Lord, the God of their fathers, sent word to them again and again by His messengers, because He had compassion on His people and on His dwelling place; but they continually mocked the messengers of God, despised His words and scoffed at His prophets, until the wrath of the Lord arose against His people, until their was no remedy" 2 Chronicles 36:15 - 16. Just as God had said, the nation was given into the hands of the Babylonians.

This was encouraging to me as a mother. God clearly stated His expectations to His children, lovingly reminded them, followed through with the consequences. His dealings weren't arbitrary or what I call "heat"-driven (punishment out of a parent's anger). No tricks, manipulation, or fickleness. His dealings were clear, patient, and intentional. I want to be this way in my dealings with our children.

Discipline wasn't popular. It didn't feel good. But it was for their good. Discipline isn't fun for me or for our children. I need to remember that is for our children's good, especially when I get weary of disobedience and would rather look the other way.

The prophet Jeremiah sent a message to these Babylonian exiles. "When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place" (Jeremiah 29:10 See also through to verse 14). There is the promise of hope and of restoration. While there is love in every part of parenting our children, even in the midst of discipline, we want them to know we receive them, love them, and have forgiven them. We can move on and grow together.

Studying God's word was so encouraging to me this year and I am looking forward to returning September!

Not tired of reading yet? A little more of my thoughts about our local CBS:

One thing I appreciate about CBS is that the women are from all over the community, from different walks of life, and at different places spiritually. The common denominator is we are all studying God's word together. Politics or denominations aren't the focus; God's word is.

Another thing I appreciate is the program for children. Our children aren't simply babysat for a few hours each Tuesday. Their lives are seen as valuable and their time at Bible study is constructive, meaningful, and fun. Catherine and Camille love their teachers and classes - they run ahead of me into their classes each Tuesday. They have learned so much this year and we are so grateful for their teachers who have loved them! For me, I have been able to focus in class knowing that our children are cared for, invested in, and loved.

So, if you're interested in studying God's word in your community and want a place for your kids to be invested in, too, check out Community Bible Study to find a group for you! I know there are other good Bible study groups out there, too; CBS is what is available in our area right now and I am thankful for it. In my opinion, even and ESPECIALLY as a busy mother, if you can get involved in a good Bible study in your area, it is worthwhile, refreshing, and encouraging.

hola!

Destination: each other!

Location: Mexico!

The locals were _____.

friendly

The food was _______.

outstanding

The weather was ______.

impeccable

The responsibilities were _____.

nonexistent

The agenda of each day was _____.

effortless

Sarah's favorite view was _____.

her gorgeous husband, Erik

We spent most of our time ______.

horizontal

We had endless fun doing ______.

everything, and yet nothing... together

Trip made possible in part by

Sarah's marvelous mom (Marlit) and marvelous aunt (Melinda)

who cared for C, C, and J

so Erik and I could have this time together.

Thank you!

one morning in colorado

I felt on the ball. I smiled and my steps were light. We were going to be on time today! It was the first day back to the Community Bible Study after the Christmas break. The kids and I really enjoy Tuesday mornings there.

I had gotten Jack's diaper bag ready, lunch bagged up for the kids, everyone dressed, and the kids quietly reading so I could get myself ready. Quickly, I jumped in and out of the shower, dressed, and bundled everybody up in their winter coats. It was a cold one!

I got everyone up to the car, got everyone in their carseats, and tossed the stroller in the back when I felt it.

My hair felt funny. Really funny. Like, Did I forget to rinse out the shampoo and conditioner? funny. It felt... krinkly and stiff and disgusting. I began to process a solution - a solution involving undoing the kids and getting back in the shower to wash my hair out - a solution which melted my "on the ball" feeling moments earlier - when I started laughing.

Our car's thermometer-thingy (can't think of the word) read "5 degrees Fahrenheit".

My hair was frozen!

Raw

Here we all are, the smiling Snyder "fam" enjoying a day out in Boulder in the not too distant past. Who would ever guess that behind my smile I was going through one of the hardest months in our family's history?

One of our children had been staying up at night, getting out of her crib, and not falling asleep until late. She would wake up tired in the morning, and take a moderate (1 ½ hour nap) midday. She seemed to be less likely to listen and more likely to be aggressive and antagonistic toward her siblings. She seemed more intense and more in another person’s space than usual. Sickness seemed to exaserbate the tiredness, too.

Erik and I have hoped to approach each of our children as the individuals they are. Although each child is different, we hope to love them and be consistent with each of them. Our approach to disciplining our older two children is to communicate the problem, explain the consequences, and follow through consistently. As this past month unfolded, one of our daughters has needed this kind of intervention many times each day.

We first attempted to help her get more sleep. We try to get all the children outside to play day to day to burn off normal childhood energy. We cut back on activities that keep us out late and overwhelm her (read: good bye YMCA for now). Even so, she still seemed to be fighting sleep and was a lot to handle the next day.

I personally became exhausted, frustrated, and angry. I felt anxious, nervous, and jumpy during the day when Erik was at work. I felt boiling and ready to blow at any moment. In fact, after an episode earlier this month, ending with my dealing with her out of anger than out of love, Erik and I decided that it would be better for me not to deal with her at that level and instead to call him at work. Additionally, I had tons of negative thoughts toward her and the effect I perceived she was having on our family. Erik and I talked about this and about solutions.

I felt that I needed help. As only God can do, He had "arranged" for my good friend Suzan Chase to come out for a week's surprise visit, and I could feel myself literally relax the first day she arrived and began to help out with the children. (More on this visit later!) However, I felt myself get more anxious and nervous a few days before she left.

After Suzan left, I was on me own again during the day and felt the anger right there, waiting to surface.

I recognize that our child's behavior is to a great degree normal: her age, her God-given personality, her family dynamic, and her lack of sleep. What saddens me was my reactions to our child. My behavior is also expressing itself with impatience our other children. I recognize that my behavior is largely due to a lack of deep sleep and to the intensity of practically parenting three children under the age of three.