wrong

Lately, there have been a lot of 

"I was wrong.

I dishonored you. I spoke harshly to you.

Will you forgive me?" 

spoken at our house.

No, it's not the kids apologizing to each other. Or to their parents. 

Sometimes it's Mama... sometimes it's daddy... asking our kids' forgiveness. 

Why would a 30+ year old mother and father ask a 4, 3, and 2 year old to forgive us? Isn't that kind of... humbling?

What's humbling is from the beginning God made us. Erik, Sarah, Catherine, Camille, Jack, and Jude.

The only distinction between us and our children is that they happen to be little. So little, in fact, that God entrusted them to us - to care for, love, teach, train, to walk with. He gave Erik and me a role to play in these little people's lives. But that role is temporary.

We are eternal. If the average human lifespan is 80 years, and Erik and I had children in our thirties, 

that's 50 years that we'll relate to Catherine, Camille, Jack and Jude as parent/child. 50 years is a drop in the bucket compared to eternity, where we hope to relate to them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

God made Catherine, Camille, Jack and Jude. We want to honor them.

This doesn't mean that we give them everything they want. Part of honoring God and honoring our children in our job as "parents" is having the responsibility and the courage to correct,  discipline, and protect. To say no. To teach them to live under authority.

Even though we are parents, Erik and I relate with our children. We too are under authority. Parenting isn't a position of pride or superiority. It's not an ego trip; I'm not right just because I'm bigger and older! With God, there are no double standards. We are only in authority because God has given us the role to lovingly care for and guide these little ones until they are able to hear His voice and be under His authority.

When we see our children as people who are eternal and our role as parent is temporal, this changes how we relate to my children. How we communicate with them. How we treat them. How we value them. How we respond when we wrong them.

I don't always honor my children. I speak harshly. My judgment isn't fair. I will disappoint them. Dishonor them. Sometimes I treat guests in our home with more dignity than my children. I will fail my children.

This is where we both need Jesus.

God will never fail our children. His love won't change. His judgment isn't skewed. He is the one we can point our kids to. The sooner our children are able to transfer their trust and dependence on Jesus - the good Shepherd - the better!

As for us, flawed humans and parents, we need Jesus, too. Jesus has shed His own blood on the cross to forgive me for dishonoring God and my children. I need His forgiveness. He not only died for my sin, but He also shares His life with me, that I might choose Him when I'm frustrated or annoyed. That my children might experience His life and love in me, and not my own human responses.

When we fail, we need to ask forgiveness. Especially of our children. Additionally, it's a great opportunity for us to model to our children how to be reconciled with God and others.

Children are so forgiving - often I've had their little arms wrap around my neck in kind forgiveness. Being welcomed into the arms of your child or spouse or the Lord is joyful, sweet, humbling restoration.

marathon

In my "intelligent" years as student at university, I decided it would be fun- yes, fun- to run a marathon together with some of my pals.

We had a professor who also found it "fun" to run marathons, too, and offered to train us.

What do I remember about training for a marathon? I remember finally liking coffee, irresistibly presented to me by my friend Natalie before an early morning distance training run. I remember sweating with my uni friends. I remember a nasty blister on the bottom of my right foot. But significantly, I remember Dr. Higgins, our professor. Our trainer.

His training technique has never left me. For Dr. Higgins, training wasn't simply observing us from a distance, and yelling out instructions to us. For him, training was putting on his running shoes, and with a eager smile and infectious enthusiam, observing us along the way, and showing us ways of improving.

I'll never forget that Dr. Higgins didn't train us from a distance; Dr. Higgins ran every step of the way with us. 

Eventually, we ran the whole thing. 26.2 miles.
And then we college girls intelligently ran another one... for fun.

Now that I'm a mom, I'm not running marathons anymore. My knees have declared civil war on any ambitions like that.

But I still think about Dr. Higgins. Regularly. Because now, as a mom, I'm a trainer, too.

Everyday, I'm training Catherine, Camille, Jack, and Jude for the steps that they are going to take in the days ahead.

Honesty.
Integrity.
Responsibility.
Respect.
Communication.
Perseverance.
Dependence on Jesus.

I can train them from a distance, or I can get right into their lives and run every step of the way with them.

I remember when Catherine, our eldest, was 18 months old. She loved to toddle over to our front door where the basket of winter hats, mitts, and scarves were kept. These things she put on. And took off. And put on. And took off. Until the basket was empty and these things were all over the floor.

I said, "Catherine, I don't mind if you play with those, but you need to put them back in the basket when you're done."

Time passed. Hats, mitts, and gloves still lay like colorful snow on our floor. Catherine was elsewhere.

I found her, walked her back to the empty basket, and rephrased my words. Then I showed her exactly what I meant. Then we did it together. Then I left a few at the end for her to do on her own.

We looked at the clean floor and celebrated.

Catherine wasn't the only one with a lesson to learn that day. Through this situation, I remembered Dr. Higgins. He subjected himself to our training. He entered in to our discipline.

I thought about how parenting can be distant: from-the-comfy-couch-remote-control-parenting. In the story I shared, I could speak out orders which Catherine may or may not understand how to implement. Both parties are likely to get upset with lack of understanding.

Or it can be it can be involved, integrated, let-me-run-with-you parenting. I could get in there and train with Catherine until she was conditioned to know the standard and uphold it on her own. (She's great at this now.)

Training, or discipline, cost our prof as much as it did us. Higgins had to put on his running shoes and run - every step we ran.  As we train/discipline our children, it costs us as parents. We have to get off the couch. We have to stop what we're doing. To talk to our kids. To explain. To demonstrate. To work together. To give opportunity for our kids to practice.

There's a verse in the Bible about training, or discipline (the Greek word is sophronismos, which is a blend of sos "safe" and phren "the mind" = "a calling to soundness of mind"):

All discipline (training) for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. 

Hebrews 13:11

I initially read this verse with my children in mind, but if I consider that discipline equally involves me, then this verse takes on a new light. It is encouraging not only for them, but also for us as parents. Training my kids may be tough. Hard. Sorrowful. Sometimes there are blisters. But as I am trained by it, and my kids are trained by it, discipline will yield peaceful fruit in our home.

Lord, thank you for the privilege of training 

alongside our children as we run through life together. 

As we train our children, 
may we humbly and faithfully embrace Your training in our own lives.

fairy godmother

Yesterday I shared a little of the rationale behind our family's month-long menu. Today, if it would be helpful to you, I am happy to share specifics of how our family's month-long menu works as well as a copy of our June menu at the bottom of the post. If you can use it, please feel free to "slice it and dice it" in the way that best serves you and your family!

"Recipe" for making our month-long menu plan

1. I created a page that looks like a month calendar in Microsoft Word.

2. I brainstormed dinner themes that our family likes (Eg: pasta, turkey, fish, ham, chicken, salad, beef).

3. I thought about what our week typically looks like and chose what dinner theme would work best for which night of the week. (Eg: Sunday- salad, Monday - chicken, Tuesday - fish) The rationale behind nightly dinner themes was to ensure that I wasn't serving pork three nights in a row!

4. I thought about our favorite family meals and plugged them in first to the appropriate days. (Eg: on a Sunday when the dinner theme was "salad", I would ensure that one Sunday in the month had one of our favorites: Cherry Chicken Lettuce Wraps)

5. In the gaps in the calendar left after that, I got on-line and researched what I needed. I googled "beef" or whatever. Recipes that looked tasty I'd "plug in" to the remaining gaps of the menu and then print out the recipe for future reference. This enables me to experiment with new recipes.

Notes:

I started this in January, but as the days have gotten longer and warmer and more spring and summer variety appears in the markets, I have been getting back on-line to freshen our menu to reflect the flavors of the season.

Once I got the calendar grid ready, the nightly themes designated, and the skeleton of our favorites in place, the actual updating the calendar and filling in the gaps with new recipes takes me about an hour each month.

The menu also helps me with my shopping. The menu becomes my shopping list, ensuring I have the ingredients I need. I do a local run to the grocery store each week for the fruit and veggies I need, and we go as a family into the city to do a "big shop" maybe twice a month for big ticket items. My pantry and fridge are stocked, ready for me to cook, ready for our family to eat.

If you're feeling motivated, you can also add on breakfasts, lunches and snacks to help "rise to the occasion" when it's meal time for your little loves. It may seem overkill, but for me, having something written down saves me time and time again when it's time to eat and I'm chewing my bottom lip looking for mealtime solutions.

Do I stick with the menu? It's a tool. It's there for me. It supports me with my work, but I am at the controls. Sometimes I'll swap a meal around or completely drop it that day... it depends on what we need and what works for us that day. But 90% of the time, this little menu's been my fairy godmother - transforming my daily chef from frazzled to successful.

Click here to see our June 2012 menu. 

daily bread

Let's talk about food, shall we?

So many colors, textures, flavors, combinations, and opportunities!
It's aesthetic.
It's aromatic.
It's flavorful.
And it's functional.
Food nourishes the grown up bodies and the tiny bodies in our homes. It helps them go (and grow!).

God could have packaged up our fuel in freeze-dried, flavorless form, but He made it so full of variety and gave us the pleasure of creating with it, sharing it, enjoying it, and being nourished by it! (Thank you, Lord!)

How many meaningful conversations have been had over a meal? Mealtime is an ingenious conduit of togetherness and fellowship.

Food... what a literal treat!

In our family, one of my responsibilities and privileges as a mother is to ensure my family is getting properly nourished by providing healthful meals each day.

After all, our children are growing mentally, but equally physically. In the same way I want to feed their minds with good books, thoughts, and opportunities, I also want to ensure that their calorie craving bodies and lengthening limbs are getting the proper building blocks of nutrition that they need.

As for my wonderful husband Erik, he has no expectations for me to cook amazing food, but he does appreciate a good meal at the end of his day. A good meal is a great way to encourage him!

However, I was finding that I was repeating many of the same meals, which ultimately lacked variety both nutritionally and flavorfully... Or worse, I was finding myself at five pm staring into an improperly stocked refrigerator wondering what I could make from odds and ends while hungry children waited patiently.

I felt like my days as a Mom with four little children were tremendously demanding - sometimes just going from one part of the day to the next - which left me no time to properly plan, shop, and nourish my family with a good meal at the end of the day. I was struggling with the apparent conflict of my responsibilities as a mother.

I was discouraged that such a significant, regular, and presumably delicious part of our lives was, well, BLAND.

I wished that I could not only be productive in the kitchen for the sake of our own family, but also that we could capitalize on the multiple benefits of sharing a meal with friends from our community and town.

Can you relate?

Do you feel a desire to love your family by providing a variety of nutritious meals for them, but find that your meals are "repeats" from week to week? Do you desire to make good food, but when it comes down to it, the ingredients aren't there when you need them? Do your minutes matter and you find yourself at the end of the day without enough time to think through a menu and decide on ingredients and then go shopping? I think this may be true for a few mamas reading this.

May the Lord guide you and help you with the desire to care for your family in this way.

For me, I expressed my heart to Erik, who is not only such a wonderful husband, but also friend who knows me well and cares about my concerns and wants to support me in any way he can. I feel that God often shows me things about myself through the eyes of my man, and I am so glad for this. Erik reminded me that I frequently do well - both in preparing a project and feeling satisfied at the end of it - if I've made a list.

From this concept, the month long menu was born and has been developing over the past five months.

I spend about an hour each month "refreshing" each month's menu, but the pay off is that I have a variety of meal ideas, the ingredients I need, and the joy of knowing my family is being well-fed.

One of the highlights of feeling more confident about mealtime due to our menu is that we are able to have more people into our home, especially for dinner. I am not only able to care for my family, but also welcome students, staff, and neighbors from our community into our home regularly. What a blessing this is!

Even Jesus nourished the hungry tummies with loaves and fish while teaching them of the Bread of Life. It is a privilege to serve my family in this way, and I am grateful for this tool to help me with my responsibilities at this stage in our family's life.

Lord, thank You for making us body, soul, and spirit 

and for abundantly providing everything they need to be sustained.

Sustain our families as we share Your food, 

both bread for the body and the Bread of Life for the soul. 

when our children (and their parents) hurt

Tagging back to yesterday's post, I admit that it's easy to say God works all things together for good when the loss is only Time, Expense, or a Change of Plan. But what about when things strike closer to home... and to the heart? I offer you the following scene from our lives one year ago.

It was a rainy afternoon one Monday in May, exactly one year ago yesterday, when it happened.

I was six months pregnant with Jude and had a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Only I didn't remember the doctor's appointment because I had forgotten to flip my week-at-a-time calendar page that Monday. It had been a busy weekend and getting back into Mondays with three kids three and under sometimes didn't happen for me until Tuesday (or later in the week, for that matter).

If I had flipped my calendar, I wouldn't have been taking the kids up to the Chalet for a walk. But I didn't turn the page. I didn't see my appointment. I wasn't going into town to see my OB.

Instead, Catherine, Camille, Jack, and I (with Jude tucked inside my tummy) were walking, splashing, stomping through the mud puddles on the driveway from our house to the Chalet. We were going to stop inside and play a while until Daddy finished work.

We went up to the library at the top of the Chalet, walked out on the porch, sang "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring..." while we watched the raindrops fall. We went back inside.

And then it happened. The accident. The library sliding glass door shut on Jack's two fingers, severing them. He was in my arms.

The rest is a blur of red, tears, adrenaline.

Hours later, with our little boy's fingers stitched back on, bound up in bandages, I crawled into bed beside Erik.

In the twilight hours, my mind sloshing through imagery and sequences and the gaps, I recalled my calendar. Wanting to vomit, I leapt from bed and my suspicions were confirmed. My doctor's appointment was that day. That time. If only I had turned the page...

Hot tears. Remorse. Anguish. Wanting to force back the hand of time do things differently. To protect my little boy's hand. To take his pain away, even to take it myself. Nothing, absolutely nothing can change what happened. Time has locked it away.

Sometime later, as I lay there in bed, this scene unfolds in my half-awake, half-asleep thoughts:

God says: "Aren't you glad the accident didn't happen?"
Me: "But the accident did happen!"
Reply: "No, the other accident that would have happened to you, your unborn baby, Erik, and the children if you had gone to your doctor's appointment this afternoon."


I do not know if this scenario would have happened or not, but either way I feel it was God communicating with me and reminding me that His heart for us is far, far, far beyond the dimension we see now. What I do know is that for all the unknowns in our life stories, all the mysteries, and the senseless acts, God sees the whole picture, from all angles and from eternity. And He is good.


As a parent, there's nothing I want more than to protect, defend, nurture, and support our children. I'm pretty sure if you're a parent, you feel the same.

What about

When accidents happen?

When things are beyond our control? 

When it was a mistake? 

When we forget?

What then? 

For this we have Jesus. 

Lord, in the hot tears, anguish, and remorse of parenting,  

may we find rest in You. 

May our children know You, the One who can heal their wounds.

when everything's not funny

The Rocky Mountain National Park is in our backyard. Through it runs Trail Ridge Road, which is the highest continuous motorway in the US. It is our quick and beautiful access into western Colorado, unless we travel east to the valley, and then north or south for an hour until other highways link us back up into and over the mountains.

We were excited about possibly taking Trail Ridge Road to our friend's wedding in Craig, CO this past weekend, but it was rainy at our home at 8500 ft... and snowy at Trail Ridge's top elevation of 11k+ ft. Erik called the Park to confirm, and sure enough, the road was closed due to snow.

So we went the long way around, reading, singing, talking, listening to books on CD, eating some road-trip food. It was fun.

By Saturday night, our friend was happily wedded to his bride, and our kids were happily "wetted" in our hotel's swimming pool.

Sunday morning, Erik and I decided to leave earlier than planned because the kids had a late night, Jude was still unwell, and we were pretty bagged ourselves. It would be good for everyone to get home.

We looked outside our hotel curtains to discover that Sunday was beautiful. Warm. Skies brilliantly blue. The trip home already seemed shorter.

We wondered if Trail Ridge Road was open. It would cut down our driving time significantly. And when you travel with four little kids, even an hour can make a big difference.

Not one to be irresponsible, Erik wanted to confirm that TR Road was open. He always does his due diligence to care for his family in any situation, and this was no different. Because we don't have a cell phone, Erik called the front desk of our hotel to get information on Trail Ridge Road. They checked for us and confirmed it was clear. But Erik wasn't sure of their source. He asked them to check more specifically, and again they confirmed.

So we took the more direct way. The weather and the idea of taking Trail Ridge Road home made the journey seem so much quicker. A good thing, because after three nights of bad sleep with Jude, nothing was funny any more and I needed all the help I could get.

Hours in to our trip home, we saw the peaks we had to cross. Our home was just on the other side!! And then we noticed raindrops on our windshield... and clouds above the peaks. Rain in the valley can mean snow on the pass, even in May. We stopped in Kremmling, a tiny mountain town, and asked a police man what report he had. He said even if it's open, it could close at anytime.

At this point in the trip, our options were to either get to the park and be home in under an hour, or we would have to go a super-long way around from that point. Like three more hours long around. It's like being in an alley at the back-gate to your house, finding out the gate's locked, and you have to go all the way down the alley and back up again to get into your front door. 

I wanted to get home. But my personal desire was only 1%, compared to the 99% of me as a Mom wanting to get my tired children home.

We scurried to the south entrance of the Park, only to discover that sure enough... it was closed.

My heart sunk. How to break the news to the kids, who had already been so patient and resourceful during the car ride?

We have always wanted to be honest with our kids - not to misguide them or mislead them with our words just to give them false assurance. We feel that it is crucial to be trust-worthy and honest with our children, even when the news is tough. We acknowledged the situation, encouraged them in how they had been doing, and told them the game plan for getting home.

I don't know about you, but it's hard to encourage someone when I'm discouraged. As a mom, that's what I find myself up against sometimes. How do we continue to encourage our children even when we're tired, discouraged, and have already used up all the travel tricks we had packed away? Again, I was honest with them. I asked them if they could relate. That almost seemed to band us together. Then we looked forward.

After telling stories, reading books, games, coloring, books on CD, kid's music on CD for a few hours already, we felt a lolly pop and a DVD were next up on the menu. We would stop in Denver for dinner, and then carry on home.

Erik and I talked about the trip after we got home and the kids were passed out in their beds. What do you do when things don't go as planned or as hoped for as parents? What about accidents? Mistakes? What about things beyond our control?

We feel that our responsibility is to do our due diligence to care for our family, make the best decision we can with the information we have, and leave the results to God. It's not always easy, I sure as heck wasn't laughing like I was on Friday. I don't know why we took the long road home. Maybe God was keeping us from something or giving us to someone. As believers, we can trust that God's heart is not ever to steal, kill, or destroy. He might take away, but He won't waste. He might remove, but He doesn't tease or trick us. His heart is for us. He is the gentle catcher of all that seems lost in our lives. He is the known of our unknowns. Maybe eternity will tell these secrets. In the meantime, as parents, may we all hold on to His promise -

  He works all things together for good to those who love Him 

and are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

magic carpets

Erik and I were amazed.
The students were graduating and Erik and I were able to join in together for part of the ceremony upstairs in while our children played quietly and independently below on the deck.

Jude was in the shade, in the pack n play with a bag of age-appropriate toys.

Catherine, Camille, and Jack each stayed on the deck... and played... without any intervention from Erik or myself.

At one point, a little girl even toddled around them. I was curious how our kids would change with Ainsley's presence. They were polite - interacting with her when she came near - but they stayed on their mats. After we listened to a few students share, Erik and I went down to the deck and encouraged the kids and then let them loose to run around on the tennis courts!

This kind of thing doesn't happen all the time, but it was in part due to these magic carpets we call mats. 

 If you've read some of my previous parenting posts, you understand our situation

in a family this size, 

with children this young

and this close together, 

each day is full of needs: it can be full, demanding, and intense. We have times of chaos, frustration, and friction. When I feel a lack of peace, love, patience, these are clues that something's wrong. Many times I pray: God, You've given us this family to express You. I can't imagine that You would want these words to characterize our home. Can you show Erik and me creative ways to bring about love, peace, and kindness into this part of our day? 

We know we won't get it perfect, but we ask "How do we give our kids a childhood home that expresses God by functioning in a meaningful, peaceful, unified, and loving way?" This is our question nearly everyday. 

First, we recognize and want to instruct our children as they learn 

that they are indeed individuals...

and also individuals who are part of a group called a family, 

and also in our case living here at Ravencrest Chalet, we are a family within a community. 

Because of this, we all have to learn to work together to make life and our home function in a meaningful, peaceful, fun, and organized way. Each member should feel valued and an integral part of our family as whole.  

For example: how can I feed Jude while ensuring that the older three are both safe and meaningfully engaged in a task? How can Erik and I both participate in a situation when we don't have a sitter? Can our kids function independently when necessary? 

Out of these questions, mat time was born. Magic carpets flew into our world. Here's what's working right now...

Ingredients:

1. magic carpet - my Aunt Melinda made special, unique blankets for each child

2. carpet bag - my brother Jeremy and sister in law Emily sent each child a small, durable, monogramed bag

3. special things - books, crayons, stickers, crafts, toy cars (for Jack), and treats reserved for this time

4. instructions - Enjoy your magic carpet... stay on it quietly until mom and dad say you can get off

We started these mat times for a few minutes at first and gradually worked up to about twenty or thirty minutes each time. We would try to make it fun and meaningful for them, and tried to end by having some personal time with each child to talk about what they did before they put their bag and mat away.

Then again on Sunday, Erik and I spent a hour together cleaning up from the week's activities. This time the kids were inside, playing similar to the day before. Erik pointed out that this activity enables us to do life together as husband and wife - such as Saturday morning chores - rather than dividing us in one cleaning and the other entertaining the kids. 

I don't know how long magic carpets will be a part of our lives, but right now they represent God's help  in bringing about a constructive and meaningful time for each individual as he/she functions within our family and community. 

This kind of structure might not be necessary in your family, but I hope you're encouraged that God can give ideas to bring about His peace in the rough places of our days as we seek Him.

destinations

Following up on our post the other side, I wanted to share with you how things have gone settling back into life after vacation.

Lately, Erik and I have been talking through this transition for me and the kids and asking the Lord essentially, "How did we (as a family of six) work again?!"  and more seriously, "What things were we doing well?" and "How would You like to use this vacation as an opportunity to FRESHEN or CHANGE things in our lives?"

I feel the Lord has reminded us and refreshed us in several areas:

- you have three deadlines each day: refer to your menu
- for the sake of all of you: help Jude sleep through the night
- remember your routine

Today, I'd like use a magnifying glass over that last one.

In a family 

our size 

with children this close together

and with children this young (preschoolers), 

our routine is beneficial in offering our children constructive and meaningful days. 

To be clear, our routine is not a schedule. It is unlike a European train on a defined track running to the minute. Rather, ours is like a kayak ride: moving down a river, at times being helped along by the current, at times stopping, at times changing direction. Our daily routine is filled destinations, if you will.

These destinations add structure, purpose, and fun to our day. Some are essentials that we do everyday - like reading time when I have to do morning chores and the kids sit on the couch and read. These times are mutually beneficial for mom and child. Other destinations are options to draw from ensuring variety, stimulation, and direction for our children.  We don't do them all every day or even in this order.

For the free-spirited among us, I can appreciate that the thought of structure may look stifling. I personally don't like living in a black and white, set in stone world. What about when someone knocks at the door unexpectedly? There is room for the unknown, the unplanned, the unexpected. I want our family to live sensitively to the Lord's leading, rather than becoming too dependent on a schedule. 

These destinations help me be both responsible and flexible to lead my children as the Lord is leading me. I find that if I have destinations and allow the Lord to lead me through them, by the end of the day my kids are overall more happy, more settled, and even inspired (albeit tired at the end of the day, for sure).

Destinations for the Snyder family as of April 2012

- Bible (Erik reads a section of Scripture during breakfast)

- daily helper (one kid alternates each morning help with morning dishes, making beds, tidying rooms)

- reading time (kids on couch while I do morning chores)

- mats (get out bags with quiet activities to do on individual mats - great for the older three when I need to feed Jude)

- lessons (continue to teach through the alphabet, etc.)

- dance (let the good times roll... and rock...)

- table time (craft, playdough, painting)

- together time (on the floor, playing games, hide and seek)

- play times (each child in their own room with some toys and a fun snack)

- (our favorite, used as much as possible) outdoor play!

- DVD (typically 1/2 hour while I make dinner)

-bathtime!

My kids are going to move... somewhere. Will it be positive and constructive?
My kids are going to think... something. Will it be meaningful and edifying?
How can I help ensure that their boundless energy is going to be moved along in a peaceful, purposeful way?

By allowing the Lord to lead me through destinations like these, I relax knowing that my children are being led through a variety of constructive, meaningful destinations throughout the day. This has helped as we've settled back into life as a family of six.

Are you in a similar boat (or kayak) with your family? You and the Lord know your family best. I'm praying for you!

Lord, thank you for the privilege of leading our little ones today. 

May we lead our children well today as we follow Your lead.

the other side

every story has two sides. 

for example: the other side of our wonderful vacation to SC was...

and
the other side of our wonderful vacation was...
coming home.

1. at the end of a day of travel with four little ones (and my wonderful mother who flew back with us), I was grumbling in the car thinking, "I just want the kids in bed. I just want to go to bed." Ten minutes after arriving home, we were in emerg with Jack for stitches, who had gashed his sweet head open.

2. readjusting to Erik going back to work

3. readjusting to my mom leaving after five weeks of her being my "right hand (wo)man"

4. recouperating kids from sicksicksicksicksick weeks

5. recouperating mama from the same

6. my former dream-boat baby Jude's discovery that his mother is indeed like McDonald's... open 'round the clock. How 'bout another milk-shake, Mama? at all hours of the night.

7. remembering our routine... adding structure to our day again...

So I wrote about "turbo" some months ago, but can honestly say recently since returning from vacation that I've been more like "burning out my clutch" lately.

I've been sick. and tired. and harder and harsher on the kids. I've been unfair in some judgment. I haven't taken time to slow down and just "be" with them. Unloading suitcases can be a lot like unloading vacation expectations. All full of great memories, for sure, but impractical back at home. Getting our home - not just our house - back in order is work.

Makes me glad that Erik didn't marry me for my wedding day face or enthusiasm. But that his heart warmly embraces his the end of the trip, back from the emergency room wife. In sickness and in health.

Makes me glad I can talk to my children and explain how I'm doing, and how I've dishonored them, and how I'm asking them and God for forgiveness.

Makes me glad that I can go to God and ask Him to help me find solutions and strategies as I care for and lead our children through the back-from-vacation days.

turbo

I just want to say thank you to all who have been praying for me since a couple of posts ago... I was looking for creative ways to lead our children throughout their day. We seem to have kicked into turbo, and I'm excited to share with you some of the ways God's answered that prayer. May we and may I keep going to Him for fresh water to share with others, especially our little ones! He is the great Provider... even for the little things like the 2 o'clocks, the 3 o'clocks, and the 4 o'clock parts of our days.

Things that kicked us into turbo this past month:

1. a month long meal plan... this really, really helped me! No guess work at each meal, every day. I was excited to serve different and nutritious things to our kids and they seemed to enjoy eating it (most of it, anyway).  Another bonus to having meals planned in advance was that it made having people into our home for dinner THAT MUCH MORE DO-ABLE. What a mutual blessing that's been for guest and host alike.

Jack, enjoying a fruit smoothie (loaded with a secret weapon: spinach!)

2. offering more educational opportunities to our kids. A 10 cent pencil has gone a loooooooong way in providing entertainment for Camille. That and a tablet and taking the time to teach her the letters of the alphabet. Puzzles, threading, creating books, play dough... their grins are tremendous when they achieve some new skill. Having these educational toys available (instead of hidden tidily away in a cupboard has (sigh, for this simplicity-loving heart) made our home more "full" (read: cluttered), but way more fun.

3. Like most of you, I want our kids to remember our home as being one filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control. And full of forgiveness when not! These are what the Bible call the "fruit of the Spirit" (see Galatians 5:16 and following). This is what God produces in our lives as we live by Him. Before these can be characteristic of our home, these need to be characteristic of ME! I have been enjoying going to Him - WITH MY CHILDREN - and looking at one aspect of this fruit each week.

4. We're filling our home with songs! Fun songs here and there, but also songs that are true and catchy and GOOD from scripture. Like Steve Green's Hide em in your Heart. Like Teach me while my heart is Tender by Judy Rogers (thank you, Kari, for sharing this!) Like tuning into Word of Truth radio - which plays endless instrumental and ad-free hymns! So good, so encouraging, so easy in our busy and noise-filled home!

5. We're reading from the Jesus Storybook Bible at night together as a family, praying, and singing a hymn.

6. deliberately learning new things. Days of the week. Months of the year. Verses of scripture. We take some time each morning to talk through these things. It's required some planning up front on my part, but hearing Camille say, "Mom, what are we doing after nap time?" or "Mom, can you teach me a new letter today?" or "Dad, look what we did today!!" has been fabulous.

Thanks to Aunt Memaw for these blankets... aka: cozy, comfy "school" mats. 

7. and just gettin' down on the floor and playing. Memory. Cars. Puzzles. They love it, and I love spending time with them! (also helps that dinner's already in the oven with that amazing meal plan idea!!... can you tell I'm lovin' it?!)

8. God's brought a couple of encouraging women into my life through the internet! Women who love their husbands and children. Women who believe that their is MUCH to be said for the value of the home. I've visited here and here, and over here. I invite you, too.

Love,
Sarah

PS- Can I be honest with you? Some days, if I read a post like this, I would likely get overwhelmed and discouraged by someone else's progress, seeing only my lag behind. If you're like me, may I encourage you in the One who is underlying and overseeing all this? He gets the praise, not a pattern or a program or any one of these 7 things I've written about today. The point of this posts is that He is the COUNSELOR. He is the one who can counsel you and me specifically for our situations with our individual children. You can go to Him and He will guide you, too, with very specific things that are important for you and your children. One thing I'm learning is that copying someone else may be the EXACT opposite of what God wants for you. There's no faith in looking to others. In copying them. (even good, godly people.) He is PLEASED by our faith in Him (Heb. 11:6). Go to Him. Seek Him. Follow His lead. He will engineer His plans and energize your day.

excuse me

The kids and I were on our way to a Bible study in town, and I was rushing. Impatient. Annoyed.

In the parking lot, Jack was waiting in the stroller while I threw in the kids' bags. Camille and Catherine were told to wait by the stroller until I was ready. Finally, our bags were in the stroller and I was ready to MOVE...NOW. March, little soldiers. I pushed the stroller and it bumped into Camille's leg.

My heart grumbled. My face showed it. And then (alas!), I spoke!

"EXCUSE me, Camille!!!" (read: the tone, oh, the tone!)

Camille responded like a ray of sunshine on my stormy day. Not a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Not a word of retaliation in reply to my rudeness to her. Not a scowl on her face at my double-layered communication - sweet and proper in word, but sour in tone. In her two year old sing-song voice, I heard Camille reply, "Oh, excuse me, Mama!" and off she trotted to her class.

Like a child can do, she took my comment at face-value. "Excuse me, Camille" to her was simply a collection of words forming a friendly reminder from her teacher- her mama. She carried on - cheerfully - corrected.

But I knew what was underlying that "collection of words." My tone was rude. In the description of God's perfect love seen in 1 Corinthians, we read that "Love does not act unbecomingly." Another translation says, "Love does not behave rudely."

I felt ashamed and embarrassed. In a flash, I thought: How long would it be before her little mind would grow, not just to understand words, but to discern TONE? How long would it be before my curriculum of teaching her the "good things" would include her replicating my attitude? my sarcasm? in a word, my rudeness?

Too soon, I guessed.

Historically, this kind of thing (failing someone I love) would get me stuck in pity, despair, and depression. Thankfully, God has freed me from bondage to "failure", turning it instead into an opportunity to go to Him, to ask Him for forgiveness and wisdom to operate differently the next time. (I have a feeling there will be a number of these types of posts in the future: I think I'll call them 'gtg' - going to God- posts!)

1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrightousness." I knew God would forgive me.

Now if Camille would graciously forgive me, too! I hugged her and explained the situation and asked Camille to forgive me. Her arms hugged me and she disappeared into her two-year-old class to find the toys and friends.