yes, please

another seven years together?

and everyday after that?
yes, please!

happy seventh anniversary, mr. snyder

when everything's not funny

The Rocky Mountain National Park is in our backyard. Through it runs Trail Ridge Road, which is the highest continuous motorway in the US. It is our quick and beautiful access into western Colorado, unless we travel east to the valley, and then north or south for an hour until other highways link us back up into and over the mountains.

We were excited about possibly taking Trail Ridge Road to our friend's wedding in Craig, CO this past weekend, but it was rainy at our home at 8500 ft... and snowy at Trail Ridge's top elevation of 11k+ ft. Erik called the Park to confirm, and sure enough, the road was closed due to snow.

So we went the long way around, reading, singing, talking, listening to books on CD, eating some road-trip food. It was fun.

By Saturday night, our friend was happily wedded to his bride, and our kids were happily "wetted" in our hotel's swimming pool.

Sunday morning, Erik and I decided to leave earlier than planned because the kids had a late night, Jude was still unwell, and we were pretty bagged ourselves. It would be good for everyone to get home.

We looked outside our hotel curtains to discover that Sunday was beautiful. Warm. Skies brilliantly blue. The trip home already seemed shorter.

We wondered if Trail Ridge Road was open. It would cut down our driving time significantly. And when you travel with four little kids, even an hour can make a big difference.

Not one to be irresponsible, Erik wanted to confirm that TR Road was open. He always does his due diligence to care for his family in any situation, and this was no different. Because we don't have a cell phone, Erik called the front desk of our hotel to get information on Trail Ridge Road. They checked for us and confirmed it was clear. But Erik wasn't sure of their source. He asked them to check more specifically, and again they confirmed.

So we took the more direct way. The weather and the idea of taking Trail Ridge Road home made the journey seem so much quicker. A good thing, because after three nights of bad sleep with Jude, nothing was funny any more and I needed all the help I could get.

Hours in to our trip home, we saw the peaks we had to cross. Our home was just on the other side!! And then we noticed raindrops on our windshield... and clouds above the peaks. Rain in the valley can mean snow on the pass, even in May. We stopped in Kremmling, a tiny mountain town, and asked a police man what report he had. He said even if it's open, it could close at anytime.

At this point in the trip, our options were to either get to the park and be home in under an hour, or we would have to go a super-long way around from that point. Like three more hours long around. It's like being in an alley at the back-gate to your house, finding out the gate's locked, and you have to go all the way down the alley and back up again to get into your front door. 

I wanted to get home. But my personal desire was only 1%, compared to the 99% of me as a Mom wanting to get my tired children home.

We scurried to the south entrance of the Park, only to discover that sure enough... it was closed.

My heart sunk. How to break the news to the kids, who had already been so patient and resourceful during the car ride?

We have always wanted to be honest with our kids - not to misguide them or mislead them with our words just to give them false assurance. We feel that it is crucial to be trust-worthy and honest with our children, even when the news is tough. We acknowledged the situation, encouraged them in how they had been doing, and told them the game plan for getting home.

I don't know about you, but it's hard to encourage someone when I'm discouraged. As a mom, that's what I find myself up against sometimes. How do we continue to encourage our children even when we're tired, discouraged, and have already used up all the travel tricks we had packed away? Again, I was honest with them. I asked them if they could relate. That almost seemed to band us together. Then we looked forward.

After telling stories, reading books, games, coloring, books on CD, kid's music on CD for a few hours already, we felt a lolly pop and a DVD were next up on the menu. We would stop in Denver for dinner, and then carry on home.

Erik and I talked about the trip after we got home and the kids were passed out in their beds. What do you do when things don't go as planned or as hoped for as parents? What about accidents? Mistakes? What about things beyond our control?

We feel that our responsibility is to do our due diligence to care for our family, make the best decision we can with the information we have, and leave the results to God. It's not always easy, I sure as heck wasn't laughing like I was on Friday. I don't know why we took the long road home. Maybe God was keeping us from something or giving us to someone. As believers, we can trust that God's heart is not ever to steal, kill, or destroy. He might take away, but He won't waste. He might remove, but He doesn't tease or trick us. His heart is for us. He is the gentle catcher of all that seems lost in our lives. He is the known of our unknowns. Maybe eternity will tell these secrets. In the meantime, as parents, may we all hold on to His promise -

  He works all things together for good to those who love Him 

and are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

Labeling: the sequel

If you read my post Labeling two months ago, you know where Erik and I are at: we are missing each other. I wrote:

I feel this ache to be better connected to my husband. I find myself praying and asking around... how do we stay connected as 'Erik and Sarah' in the busyness of being parents?"

Thank you for praying for us/me! For me, I feel God has put desires in my heart these past two months that relate to my role as Erik's wife (and let me say, this has been a fun assignment!)

The highlights:

1) wearing some fresh clothes (thereby breaking the cycle of wearing maternity clothes three years straight)
2) getting a fresh hairstyle
3) working out at the Y with Erik, remembering muscles we'd forgotten for three years
4) prioritizing Erik in conversations - not just on dates, but even when the kids are present!
5) making time for regular, simple dates

now.get.ready.for.this.one

6) (first, understand that we've had a total of 5 nights away from children over the past three years) getting away for a week together (the two of us) later this summer!!!!

Five years

Erik,

If I could put each day

from the past five years

into a hat,

and could close my eyes to draw out just one

to live all over again,

I would be happy

with any one I'd chosen

because it is one more day with you.

Thank you for the joy, privilege, honor, and delight

it is to be called

your wife.

4 June 2005 - 4 June 2010

(and still on our honeymoon!!)

Our promise; His promise

4 June 2005

I, Erik, receive you, Sarah, as God’s perfect gift for me.

He has created you with a deep and sensitive heart to be tenderly cared for in truth, honor, and love.

The love that you deserve, and the love that I desire for you, is patient, kind, selfless, and wise. For this, I can honestly promise you one thing: that I will fail you.

This love that you deserve, and the love that I desire for you, is God’s love, and His love never fails.

Only by God’s gift of His love, are we able to in turn love one another as we were created to do. Today I commit myself to His grace to love you and only you as my wife for as long as life is ours. I make myself available to Him to love you through me: whether you want to be silent or you want to talk…whether you are overwhelmed by the depths or you have perspective from the heights…whether you are grieving or you are filled with joy, I will love you.

As I receive you, Sarah, as my wife today, please receive this ring as a promise of this love that we share: from God to us, and through to one another.

One

Camille has had a stomach virus since Friday night that is giving her many dirty diapers. Those relentless dirty diapers, as often as we change them, have ripped her little bottom to shreds, causing her to cry out, while wincing and patting her tush, "Mama! 'Ting!!" (Mama, this stings!!")

Loads of bird baths, clean onesies, running around naked, and a doctor's visit later, Camille was still feeling yucky Monday morning. Whether it was all the dirty diapers, or seeing Camille's raw bum, or feeling sympathetic for our miserable little girl, or I was catching this virus too, I don't know. But by Monday morning, I was feeling sick to my stomach.

Monday night was a "Guy's Night" Erik had planned for the staff guys to say adios to one of the guys who was moving back to Texas. Midday, Erik called to check in on me. I could hardly answer. I felt defeated and couldn't get a leg up on the day. He came home. He took over with the girls; I fed Jack and went to bed. A few phone calls later, he cancelled his involvement in the guy's night out. I didn't ask him to. In fact, I asked him not to. But he had already assessed the situation and knew he needed to be home with his family. This is Erik.

Since we got engaged, Erik's mentality has been that the two of us are now one.

I remember that August in 2004 when we got engaged. Erik had flown to South Carolina from Canada, bringing among other things, a camera and laptop to document our engagement.

"Can I borrow your camera to take a few shots?" I asked.

He looked at me and smiled. "It's OUR camera."

I was a slow learner. Later I asked, "Can I use your laptop?"

"You mean OUR laptop?"

Erik had instantly changed from first person to third person the moment we got engaged.

"I" and "mine" became "we" and "ours".

The two are one.

This thinking wasn't limited to our "stuff". It became a part of our life... how we function together. When five o'clock rolls around, Erik "clocks out" of work, but not out of his position as my husband and our children's dad. He doesn't come home and kick his feet up while I finish out the day of making dinner, feeding the family, and putting the kids to bed. He is there. He is involved. "My day isn't over until OUR day is over." The two are one.

Yes, we have different roles. There are things that he initiates and things that I initiate in our lives (i.e. bills or cooking). But these roles have not negated our willingness or availability to help each other carry them out. "How can I be most helpful right now?" "In the situation you're in, how can I be the most supportive to you?" These statements are powerful. They are non-threatening. They are identifying, unifying, and life-giving. I often hear them asked of me. The two are one.

This mentality is hard for me sometimes. On Monday, Erik cancelled his involvement in the Guy's Night because I needed him. With a husband like this, I don't want to deny him anything!

Why have I have interwoven some of our wedding pictures throughout this post that began with Camille's diaper rash? How are the two connected? I did this to picture the fact that Erik's commitment to me wasn't just for that beautiful day when I was feeling good, as slim as I have (healthily) been, and everything was like a fairy tale. His commitment still continues five years later, through tough days, three children, weight-gain, and diaper rashes.

"Husbands, love your wives JUST AS Christ loved the church and GAVE Himself UP for her" Ephesians 5:25 (caps mine)