My eyes scanned down the list of marked "Labels" on our blog.

From my understanding of the blogging language, "Labels" identify the topics of your blog posts. "Labels" also helps the reader navigate through your blog to a topic of interest. "Labels" are numbered, making them interesting to see what is talked about most.

To date:
Catherine leads out with 14 posts, Camille with 13, Jack and myself coming in neck and neck at 6.

And Erik? Only 3.

I'm glad the health of our relationship isn't quantified by the number of labels on our blog, but observing this was interesting to me. I think it reflects where my mind mostly is these days.

Parenting two toddlers IS taking up the majority of my brain space, draws out most of my verbal expression, and requires every drop from my energy reserves... I can appreciate that Catherine and Camille lead out with the most blog entries.

Parenting Jack is (during this 'not-yet-crawling-or-talking' phase) fairly basic... milk, bath, cuddles, smiles and chatter... these pretty much make Jack's day. Jack's six entries make sense to me.

As for myself, I'm working through the dynamics of being a mom to three under three. Six seems reasonable, too.

But Erik? Where is he in all this?
A meager three?!

I pondered this. Why is there little written about my man, my best friend, and our children's daddy?

I'd say he's like a rock to our family. Like a rock, you don't often notice them. They're not too flashy in form or activity... at least not any rocks I've come across to date. But, boy, are they solid, predictable, and consistent. Erik is the rock on which the song and dance of our family's activity takes place. He is my sanity at the end of the day. He is the voice of reason and perspective when things get warped in my mushy-mommy-head. He is our children's hero.

If I had started this blog five years ago, when Erik and I were first married, there would be only one label, and I'd have marked it "Erik" (sigh!). We used to have time to talk when we first got married, when we were waiting to Erik's green card to be processed so he could work, and when we were still without children.

Times have changed. We're in a new season now with Erik's job at Ravencrest and with our three babies. Time to... what? Excuse me. I'm being interrupted by one of our children. Sorry. Now where were we?? Time to TALK??

Seriously, we love it. We wouldn't have it any other way.

But we are missing each other. The "Erik and Sarah". The "Us". The "We". What we were before "They" came and made us "Daddy and Mommy". Don't get me wrong; "Daddy and Mommy" are some of the sweetest names we've ever been called. But there is an ache for "Us"... and I believe it's a good ache and a good missing.

One day our children are going to grow up. They will "leave and cleave". They will have their own families. Erik and I don't want to wake up one day in twenty years and find we are strangers to each other. We feel the best thing we can do for our children is to LOVE EACH OTHER. Our feeling is that our children will benefit not only from seeing us as their mom and dad, but most significantly as husband and wife. Catherine, Camille and Jack's first significant relationship - after they grow out of "Child" will not be "Parent". It but will be "Husband" or "Wife". We want them to have a sense of what that looks like, and not an empty void because we abandonded that relationship when "the children came along".

Sometimes we experience pain (or ache, or longing) as a catalyst for change, for movement, or for a fresh approach. So while I feel this ache to be better connected to my husband, I find myself praying and asking around... how do we stay connected as "Erik and Sarah" in the busyness of being parents? With the limited time and energy we have, how can we nurture the "we" of our relationship?

Thank you for praying for me... for US!... as we learn what it means to be husband and wife while being parents to our three.


  1. ok, i'm addicted to you blog. i LOVE LOVE LOVE Your honesty. thank you. i t is a breath of fresh air.
    My Eric has also said that the marriage has to come before the kids. The kids will leave, as you said. As to how to maintain to 'twosome' time....ugh...not sure i have answers, but just hte fact that you know and desire that is probably most important !

  2. it's good to be identified with, Ashley... and to be joined in seeking Him for answers is equally refreshing! glad to share this time in life with you!